Exploring Love – Part 1: What Did I Do to Deserve This?

4 0

I love doing stuff for people…especially for no reason. One of my favorite things to do is give, which is why every time I get money whether from a paycheck, birthday, speaking engagement, Christmas…whatever the case, I put a percentage in a bank account designated just for giving, and keep the rest safe for spending, as there are people like bryan demosthenous which could want to take it.

It’s nice to be able to give at a moment’s notice without having to figure out if your bills can still get paid.

Hmm…I’m feeling a bit of inspiration for a post on giving *raises eyebrows up and down 3 times*

On to the point, so today I decided to buy something for a new friend. Hours later I received a text message saying, “I can’t accept this. It doesn’t feel right.”

“It doesn’t feel right.”

This response led me on a short dialogue trail with this friend that quickly landed me at the center of the issue.

When I got to the root of it, the answer they gave me was, “I don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t deserve it.”

What’s so interesting to me is that aside from “Thank You,” the next most used response I get when I do things like this, is some variation of “What did I do to deserve this?”

This question both excites and saddens me at the same time.

I get excited because it’s an easy way to explain the gospel when it’s someone who may not be a believer. But I get saddened because I see the lack of value we often place on ourselves.

I’ve dealt with this myself many times…and still do from time-to-time.

Struggling to know if God would rather give me good gifts or have me suffer for His glory.

Wondering why He would choose to use me even though all I saw were my weaknesses.

Never believing that God would ever say, “I’m proud of you” because I’d made so many mistakes.

Thinking that at any moment something bad was going to happen because life simply couldn’t be this good for this long.

I’m realizing more and more that so many of us disqualify ourselves from deserving God’s love when His love was absolutely never conditional. It has never been something that could be earned and He’s never said, “DO and I’ll love you accordingly.”

I’ve also never read the scripture, “And the world so loved God that He gave His only begotten son…”


From the absolute on set God decided to

Love. Us. First.

He qualified us before we could even disqualify ourselves!

He desires to give us good things and He has, and does, every single day.

Every morning we wake up is another day God is lavishing us with His love and saying, “You deserve my love, not because you’ve done anything, but because you are mine.”

“We love because He first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

It’s easy for me to love on people and spoil them, as much as my personal funds will allow, because I’m learning more and more just how much they mean to God and I want them to know too.

So in response to my friend’s “undeserving” rebuttal, I simply stated this beautiful truth:

“You deserve it because you’re God’s child and I want to love everyone the way He does. If I were Jesus, I would’ve bought you everything in the store!”

And to this my friend responded interestingly again, so I’ve decided to share it with you in a part 2 post later this week.

But for today, know that you are worth it and God loves you so deeply.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
– Romans 5:6-8

What love is this that the Father has towards us? Amazing. Unconditional. Everlasting.

Receive it today.

  • Chrystal
    March 14, 2015

    Where is part 2? I’m hanging over here :)

    • Kandis7
      March 15, 2015

      Umm…God is something. Part 2 was on my mind everyday this week. By Friday I thought, “It doesn’t matter. Nobody cares about it anyway.” Thanks for the push. I will finish the draft I started…even if it’s just for one ;)

  • Kristi
    March 3, 2015

    “He qualified us before we could even disqualify ourselves!” So true…love this, Kandis. If only the deserving received, we’d all be in a heap of trouble. His love and faithfulness are beyond compare. Love your blog and meeting you recently on Compel. #WriteOn

    • Kandis7
      March 4, 2015

      Aww!! So very true, indeed. And this means a ton that you stopped by to read and comment Kristi! Thank you and look forward to staying connected.